“WATS UP [Gammers] AND [Gamboys] !! WE HAVE A SPECIL [Interactive] FREE [Fps Aim Training] COARSE FOR YOU TODAY, WHEN YOU SEE [Sucbscribe] [Click now]!!!”

“SPAMTON HOT LINE 24 / 7 :: JUST CALL ANY NUMBER   WE'LL PICK UP! REAL CONNECTED, REAL GOOD, THAT'S OUR GUARANTTEE!”

“LIVE COMMENTS FROM OUR !! :: "         " THERE ARE NO COMMENTS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHERE IS EVERYONE?”

"UP TO [9] PEOPLE WILL WIN [v a r i o u s ca$h values] IN THE FORM OF [free GIFT cards]! THAT'S [money], FOR [free*]! WHAT!?!?! DO THESE [idiots] THINK THIS IS [charity]?!

THIS OPPORTUNITY IS [too good to be true] !! [there 4] AFTER YOU GET IT, PLEASE [confirm the number on the back] WITH OUR TEAM, I WILL PERSONALLY TRY OUT THE CARD FOR YOU TO [confirm it's safe]!!!"

"First up we got Fangamer gift cards! Give the gift of 'fan' to your favorite 'gamer' with these card! You'll be begging to call them Fungamer after you swipe these little guys in your favorite slot! Up to $50 value, free!"

"THESE [chewed up bubblegum wrappers] THOUGHT THEY COULD MAKE [merchandise] WITHOUT ME!?

WELL WHO'S A [custom embroidery] NOW, YOU [scrap heap]!? THIS ONE-OF-A-KIND [brand name cl0thing] CAN’T POSSIBLY MAKE YOU LOOK MORE [$%#!] THAN YOU DO NOW!!!"

"Shirtwear! No shirt, no spam ton, no service. This product fixes all 3 problems in one itchy little bundle! With Spam Ton's lovely smile on your torso, you'll soon forget which is your real face."

"HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO MAKE ME INTO YOUR [living puppet] AND [enslave me] WITH [visions of glory] ?

[%$#@] YOU MAN! [#@!] YOU MAN! [@#!] YOU MAN!

BUT I CAN'T BLAME YOU, I SURE AM [1] [handsomeGuy]. SO I WILL LET YOU HAVE MY [pair of dirty socks] AS A [eternal sacrifice], JUST AS [old] AND [krusty] AS THE DAY I [Die]!"

"Spamton's Old Socks!             Spamton's Old So"

"LOOKING FOR A WAY TO [max out] YOUR [TP]!? [$#*] YOURSELF IN STYLE WITH THE NEW SPAMTON [toilet paper], EACH PIECE CONTAINS A [motivational quote] ABOUT HOW I WILL [killed] YOU!"

"Official Spamton Toilet Paper! You'll be begging to be c    You'll be beggingGift the gift of 'paper' to your favorite 'toilet' with these collectible quarterable issue-free tissues! You'll be begging to cauull uh call the toilet gamer after you flush these little guys"

"EVER THINK ABOUT [settling down] AND HAVING A [little worm] OF YOUR OWN?

DON'T WORRY WE HAVE [painfully modified] A [loving creature ] THAT'S SURE TO [eating you out of house and home]!

IT WILL INFEST YOUR [house] , YOUR [crops], AND... YOUR [heart].

[ succumb to the worm ]

[ succumb to the worm ]"

"Worm from the string! Nothing says trendy like, 'I own a worm!' Are you a single mother? No? Well you will be soon! This one's coming to your house, whether you like it or not!"

"YOU WON'T BECOME A [Big Shot] WITHOUT TAKING A FEW [fights]. I HAVE BEEN [beat] ON, [stepped] ON, [$#*] ON, [$#*]D UP, [$#**]D DOWN, [shaken] UP, [stirred] AROUND, [cracked] LIKE AN [egg], HAD [sand] KICKED IN MY [eyes], HAD MY [nose] METAPHORICALLY [ripped off], [kissed] ON THE [mouth], [tucked] INTO BED, DRANK MY [orange juice], FELL DOWN THE [stairs], AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I STILL GOT UP [in the morning], AT [2 A.M.], TO GO DIRECTLY BACK TO [bed]!

SOUND LIKE [%*#$]!? WELL SKIP THE LINE OF PEOPLE WAITING TO [beat you into an everloving] AND BECOME THE CHAMP DIRECTLY WITH THIS [commemorative belt]. (A [belt] IS BASICALLY A [ring] FOR YOUR [ass])

THAT'S RIGHT, [where] THIS [safety belt] TO SCHOOL OR WORK AND YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE TO [wait in line] FOR PEOPLE TO [beat the %$* out of you]!

MEANWHILE I CAN [sneak out the back] AND"

"Championship belt! I didn't spend years inside the ring for nothing! Years inside the ring! Years inside the ring! Years inside the ring! So much pain. And that's value."

“THAT'S NOT [Milk], IT'S [Sand], THE NATION'S FAVORITE [beverage of choice]! LIKE [your mother] SAID, YOU CAN ONLY HAVE YOUR [Milk] AFTER FINISHING YOUR [Sand]”

“LIVE COMMENTS FROM OUR !! :: "This item is pretty cool. The quality isn't geat but it's not bad. IY AIWTUH AND WITH IT WIL GORUI?????????"”

“LIVE COMMENTS FROM OUR !! :: "i'd love to shove spamtin into a pasta maker and watch him oozing like sting cheeze" WHAT THE [$#&*] IS WRONG WITH YOU”

"WHAT'S MORE [Fun for the kids!] THAN A CONTEST FOR [18 years or older to enter]! ... WHAT'S THAT!? I HEAR YOU GETTING [$#*ing mad]!

YES!! I HEAR THE [Haters] and [Screamers] OUTSIDE MY WINDOW [Every day]. I HEAR THEM [Right now!] SHOOTING ME WITH [Guns] and [Whole Milk] AND SLAPPING ME [moist] AGAINST THE [freshly tiled bathroom floor].

[Cool down with a]!!! WHAT IF ONE DAY, YOU ENDED UP [Killed] ME!? WHAT IF I [Died] JUST LIKE [I finally became a Real Boy] AND TURNED INTO [graveyard dust], [For the Fans]!?

WELL LET THIS BE A [Email] [in a bottle] FOR YOU! [Wake up and the smell the] MY DEAD CARCASS!!!

[Sand] IN A [Jar], HARDLY WORTH EVEN ONE MEASLY NEO[Kromer].

AND, YOU CAN HAVE IT [For free]!!!"

"Spamton after not surviving! The new ideal corpse of everyone's favorite salesman, finally contained in glass, not spreadable for easy snacking.    Wrong. (sigh)   SPA   SP    The New"

"THE [Nation's Most Popular Car], [cungadero]!!! NOW WITH ITS OWN ONE-OF-A-KIND [final warning sign] AFTER THE REST WERE

REMEMBER, IF YOU SHOW THIS [warning sign] IN YOUR [back window], AND THEY DON'T [let you cross], YOU HAVE THE LEGAL RIGHT TO [RUN THEM DOWN]!!!!!!"

"Cungadero crossing sign! Uh oh, Cungadero! (imitating car horn) (woosh) (pew) haha, ha (imitating revving engine) (pew) haha, haha."

"LIKE MANY [buzzing] AND [burning] CREATORS, WE ARE EXPANDING INTO SELLING [expired food] OVER THE [internet]

UNFORTUNATELY THE [Big Man]'S ALWAYS [flocking around] THE [cute li'l guys!] LIKE US WHO JUST WANT TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK BY SELLING [Poison], SO TO GET AROUND THE [Office of Rules and Regulations], WE HAD TO MAKE IT [100% INEDIBLE SLIME]

[Please read the fine print] IF YOU AREN'T A [li'l guy] YOU MIGHT NEED TO [press ↓ to crouch]:

[choking hazard: ages 3 and up]

[choking hazard: ages 3 and below]

[choking hazard: age is exactly 3.]"

"COOKIE OF BOY     He may be smart, he may be small, but this little boy is one heck of a ball! Bursting with inedible flavors, this limited edition fake looks so handsome, but do not touch!"

"TIRED OF [facial recognition] BUT WANT EVERYONE TO [know who you are]?

NOTHING WORKS BETTER THAN OUR [faithful recreation] OF EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE, [frosted cereal box]

COMPLETE WITH [fine] AND [skin-crawling] DETAILS CREATED BY OUR HARD WORKING TEAM OF [disgusting FREAKS!!!!!!!!!]"

"Next, we have the "fur-thentic" cardboard box, which... seems to be covered in hair.     hair.     hai-"

"LIKE ANY [Big Shot] OF COURSE I HAVE MY OWN LINE OF [scented perfumes], THE [ladies & gentlemen] WILL BE [gagging],

    for!

THIS [olfactory experience] IS SURE TO TURN [Heads and tails] WHEN YOU GET [Thrown out the window ] FOR LIGHTING IT IN THE [in-flight restroom]!

WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY [smell] LIKE? GLAD YOU ASKED !!! THAT, MY FRIEND IS AN [Industry secret], THAT I WILL[hopefully never know]."

"SPAMKEY CANDLE 'SPAMTON' SCENDED CANDLE! Did yo     Did you ever want to smell Spam, Ton? Because this scent-sclusive candle is smells just like his- I'm sorry I mean MY ass, which I love to smell, all the time."

"[Potassium]"

"Potassium"

“LIVE COMMENTS FROM OUR !! :: "what a sick game play. now my loptop smeller of smoke!! i wonder if anything cool happens if you leave opened cheese in a frudge full of coal..."”

“ON THE SCENE LIVE CUNGADERO CAM ”

“LIVE COMMENTS FROM OUR !! :: "i used to love SPAMTON to much but after waching this im done spamton im done. anyway... why do you want for dinner everyone?"”

“LIVE COMMENTS FROM OUR !! :: "DISLIKED!!!! WHY WHY!!!!!! (SHOUTS SO LOUD AN EARTHQUAKE ALMOST OCCURS) UGGHH!! (SMASHES TABLE) GUYS THIS VID IS REAL BUT N”

"LET'S BE HONEST [folx]. [Fluff] SELLS. AND WHO HAS MORE [fluffey], [scringley] APPEAL THAN EVERYONE'S FAVORITE [HIGHLY-marketable] [That Guy].

[Dress him up!!] IN THIS ONE-OF-A-KIND [nurse costume $9.99] AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR [boo-boos] GO [bye-bye]!

BUY NOW AND IN OUR [Specil Deal], HE WILL ALSO MAKE YOUR [baa baas] GO [bo bo]!!!!!"

"Ralsei nurse costume for plush! Oh, look at the little scringly dingly. Look at the little plondgey spondgey. Look at plocktoo! This disgusting yet popular animal will win us so much money, this time selling medical supplies!"

"IT'S THE YOUR BEST [$#&*]' HEART LOCKET

EVER WISH YOU COULD [carry and cuddle a little] SPAMTON [All Day] SO YOU WON'T BE [[ alone in the garbage ]] FOR SNACK TIME?

SOMEONE [hitting on you] AND YOUR [boyfriend] AND WISH YOU COULD SHOW THEM A PICTURE OF YOUR [hotter boyfriend] SO [ no one will ever find you attractive] AGAIN??

THIS [Heart-shapedObject] IS THE THING , [For you!], A TRULY UNIQUE CONCEPT, A [commemorative locket] BETWEEN THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERS, [Me] AND MY [Person who gives me money]"

"Your best FUH! BRBBRBR! BRRUHAAH! Heart locket. Let it rip! Bae the most popular kid on the playground when everyone sees who your best friend is! Kill the other kids' toys, by swinging him around like a mace! Believe in him, and his barrier will protect you."

"IS THERE A [Mr.] or [Mrs.]   IN YOUR LIFE? HAVE YOU   EVER [Seen one before]?

THEN [Your worries are over]! SPAMTON IS HERE TO [Save Your Marriage].

THIS [commemorative cutting board] WILL HELP [introduce your partner to a new and spicy stage in your relationship], WHETHER YOU ARE [already married], LOOKING TO [immediately divorce], OR NEED TO USE THIS TO [propose].

NOT READY FOR THE [next stage] YET? JUST USE IT AS A [threat] TO SAY SPAMTON'S GONNA TO BE [Mr. Player 3] IF THEY DON'T [cook more]!!

AS AN ADDED [bonus], WE WILL PROVIDE A [red correctional marker], SO IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOES [South of the Border!], JUST CROSS OUT THE [Mr.] OR [Mrs.] [as needed]!"

"Spamton Mr. and Mrs. and throuple cutting board! (clap) One, (clap) two, (clap) three! (clap, clap, clap) And PRESTO, I now pronounce you Spam And Ton. Shut up and kiss me now! Just be careful, I'm using this to cut up my favorite string cheese!"

"STEPPING OUT OF THE [Watering Hole] BUT ONLY A SINGLE TOE GOT [so delicious and moist]?

SPAMTON [Industries] IS HERE WITH A UNIQUE      ,!

[PIPIS] BATH RUG

MADE OF [101% naturally 0rganic] [PIPIS] FIBERS, THERE'S ONLY [1] SO HURRY AND [Get it now before it's too late]!

HURRY! THERE'S STILL ONLY [1]! NO! [they're multiplying...!] [they're multiplying...!]"

"Pipis bath rug! Oooooh!               Oooh! Oww!            Ouch!        Ouch Ouch Ouch! My foot is wet! Oh, good thing someone left this bath rug here! And the pipis fibers are so soft and snug! I think I might just curl up and make this my nest!"

"[look your stylish best] AFTER A REFRESHING [salad dip] IN THE [burning acid] ! ALSO WORKS WELL FOR COMING OUT OF THE [five star private bathroom] AFTER GETTING SWIRLIED IN THE [commode], OR BEING PUSHED INTO THE [private pool] BY UNGRATEFUL [swine] !"

(S)

"Embroidered bathrobe and slippers! A little long in the bathroom but don't wanna seem kinda weird? Spamton Bath Robe. Put it on anywhere. And come right out. Your friends will be none the wiser. Great robe, great brand, and of course, Great Spam Ton."

"WE ARE PROUD TO ANNOUNCE SPAMTON [fungibleToken].

IT TAKES THE FORM OF A [specil] PHYSICAL [inedible paper] THAT ONLY [1] PERSON CAN OWN. THAT'S RIGHT [and there's more]! POSSESSING THE [holy object] GIVES YOU [SOUL] OWNERSHIP OF IT, MEANING IF YOU USE ITS LIKENESS IN YOUR OWN [creative project], WE WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE WHEN WE NEED TO [sue the pants off] YOUR SORRY [a$$]

NEW AND UNIQUE [bleeding edge technolongy] WILL ALLOW IT TO BE [crocs compatible] WITH ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE GAMES, SUCH AS [putting it on the wall], [darts], [folding], AND BEST OF ALL, [forgetting you own it]!"

"Great Spam Ton.            FUNG      This isn't just a poster, this is a type of revolutionary technology that may be famous 20 years from now. A new the future of ripping people off! Don't miss out, the value is dropping as we speak."

“YOU DON'T NEED [TV] TO WATCH LIVE CHANNELS!!! GET ALL THE [$#&*] THERE IS AND FROM ANY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN!!!!”

“GO TO THIS WEBSITE... BLUEBUBBLE * RODEO (REMOVE THE *) CHECK IT OUT................ITS COOL, I'VE GOT IT MYSELF.”

“LIVE HIGH QUALITY [Spamtons] STREAMING NOW!!! REMEMBER THIS MAY LOOK [Free] BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO [Pay] AT THE END!! ............ THEY ALL WILL.......”

“BEAKING NEWS: SPAMTON STILL AT [Large]. STILL AT [Big]. AND HE'S ONLY GETTING [Bigger]. [Growing]. [Feasting].”

"SO HOW ABOUT THAT [Pipis]? HOW ABOUT THAT [sp0rt] OF THE [Pipis]?

I KNOW SOME OF YOU KIDS OUT THERE LIKE [Hours of free Sp0rts Entertaiment!] SO HAVE I GOT A DEAL THAT'S [sweet Sunday creme] TO ANY SELF RESPECTING [Ball Nut]!

IN THIS [Specil Deal], I WILL DECLARE YOU THE WINNER OF THE [Pipis] [championship], AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO [$%#] A SINGLE THING!

GO AHEAD, KID. SHOW OFF YOU'RE [Big Shot] WITH THIS ONE-OF-A-KIND [commemorative ring].

... DON'T LIKE IT? DON'T!?!?!? LIKE IT!?

GET HITCHED TO A [BaseBall] YOU [Snake]!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"PIPIS BIG SHOT FANTASYSHIP RING! See your fantasy come true, the 3 Pipis 3 Peat, only a legend could do it in their dreams! Finally, you think, it's time for the words you've always wanted to hear: 'You did it! I'm proud of you!' But no one will say that. No one. En"

"NOTHING SAYS YOU ARE A [Big Shot] LIKE A [Pr3mIUm luxjerry w4tch], ANTIQUE FROM A R[itch] AND [powerfull] [ itch]

REST ASSURED, OUR MERCHANDISE IS [100%] [Authentic, Faithful Recreation] OF[stolen goods]

NEED PROOF? THERE LIES THE NAME OF THE [angel with the tattered wings]!"

"Engraved wristwatch! Hochi mama, do my eyes deceive me?! A real genurine watch! How did this get on there? We can't sell this, it's too much value! Bye bye bye! If this is yours, I'm sorry!"

"KRIS!!! [L@@k]!!! I TURNED MYSELF INTO A [Cube]

I TURNED MYSELF INTO A [3D Photo Motivational Glass Cube] AND NOW I'M [frozen in there] WITH SOME STUPID [Famous Genius] I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M [trapped together in one room, and the door won't open until they]

[Hurry now]!!! [Blink] AND YOU'LL MISS     !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Specil News! Scientists are baffled that local salesman SPAMTON has invented a new dimension! You're gonna need a special 3D glasses you can't see through for this, cause if you look too long, you'll cry from the beauty."

"ANOTHER [faithful recreation], THIS TIME OF EVERYONE'S FAVORITE [all-ages Beverage Choice!] JUST LOOKING AT IT, YOUR EYES CAN ALMOST [Taste That Smooth Flavor] OF [Die]!

STILL FRAGRANT WITH [smoking hot a$$] FROM [Her Royalty's Personal Collection], IT WILL ONLY [gaining value] WHEN IT BECOMES A [specil collector's item] AFTER I [replace her NOW!]! HAHA! [replace her NOW]! HAHA!

AS A [Specil Bonus] IF YOU [Break Glass In Case Of Emergency] YOU CAN HAVE [unrestricted access to the HOTTEST] [second-hand kiss] FROM ANY [Dead Pharaoh] FOR [50 Miles around]! NOW THAT'S [Value]!!!"

"HOT MAMAS IN YOUR AREA REAL WINE GLASS 100% Replica! I can't admit it folks, I'd put my mouth on this. Break the emergency glass and do the same! That's two indirect kisses. Double the value. All free. I feel sick. Warning: please do not break the glass please."

"WHAT BETTER WAY TO [pronfess your love] TO SPAMTON THEN A [limited edition musical snow glob] WITH EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE FAMOUS [skeleton]!

AND [Yes]!!!!!!!! THE [Song] IS , OF COURSE , JUST THAT [TOP 100 HIT] [By the Classics You've Come To Expect]!!!

THAT'S WHY

THAT'S WHY WE CAN'T [legally show the image] RIGHT NOW. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE COMING TO [kill] ME RIGHT NOW. THEY'RE COMING TO"

"Skeleton snow globe! Wrow, I can't believe we're allowed to show this on TV! The most famous, hottest skeleton! Swallow your drool, because now he could be yours! Engraved with Spamton's name, so you can always know the only person you can trust!"

"HOW DID THIS GET HERE!? REAL [Whirligigs]!? WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING!? WHERE GOING TO GO [double bankrupt] IF YOU GUYS KEEP [eating too much fruitcake XP]!!!

STOP!!! DON'T [win] THIS!!! YOU'LL [take it all]!!!

YOU'LL TAKE [everything I have]....."

"That's right folks, it's EVERY! All the ones! The big, and the small! The little, and the large! Everyone is here. And they won't let me have a single one. I'm fuming, I'm zooming, and if you like that, you're gonna love this.                Spamton i-          SPA-"

“LIVE COMMENTS FROM OUR !! :: "ok so there was a big discussion earlier. someone said 'with the ball' some heard 'what the [$#&*]. sooooo.... we had to censor it for your ears. so so so sorry about that."”

“Yje jincas a,yp,e ca, tale tje”

"SHOW YOUR DEVOTION, YOUR [defication] TO THE ONE YOU LOVE MOST WITH THIS [Commemorative Ring]

IF YOU PROMISE ME YOUR [Heart-shapedObject] I CAN PROMISE YOU AN [HonestMan] WHO WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO [SCREAM] [It hurts! It Hurts!]

[What's yours is mine] AND [What's yours is mine].

DON'T LIKE IT? DON'T LIKE IT!?!? THEN DON'T WORRY, LIKE ALL OF MY [commemorative Rings] JUST SLAP IT ON ANY [hochi mama] AND THEY WILL BE YOURS!!!

YOU JUST NEED TO CHANGE YOUR NAME TO SPAMTON.

IT'S [engraved]."

"SPAMTON ENGRAVED WEDDING RING! Over the years, I've given you countless.. blegh. Now, it's your chance to be a big shot of your own and give one to me. I promise I will say yes if you are hot. Or have any other easily exploitable qualities."

"LIKE ANY SELF-RESPECTING [Big Shot] I HAVE AN [army of crazed fans] WHO LOVE ME NOT JUST BECAUSE OF MY MASSIVE [Fame], BUT ALSO BECAUSE OF MY MASSIVE [Ass]

HAVE A [Long and Refreshing] [sleep knowing that wanted criminals could be right next to you and your family?]!

LET YOUR [Unhealthy attachment] TO YOUR FAVORITE SALESMAN [Fester]. THE MORE YOU USE IT, THE MORE YOU'LL REALIZE [night sweats and rashes may occur. Call a doctor immediately]"

"And now, our PREMIERE ITEM, our fre..(violent coughing) Don't put that in there... Hey Everybodyy! (coughing) Spa..sp..Spamton AAAASSS! SPAMTON AAAASSS! YEEEEESSSS! SPAMTON YEEEESSSS! SPAMTON YEESSS! The one and only, SPAMTON BODY PILLOW! (lip smack) Don't you wanna cuddle me all night long, using my huge ass as a pillow? ...Okay, I'm gonna.. I'm gonna say that again, and when I say it, eh, everyone in the audience say, 'Yeess!' Real loud, okay? Need the mics to hear you. Don't you wanna cuddle me all night long, using my HUGE ASS AS A PILLOW??? (inhale) YE-"

"THIS IS IT FELLOW [Adults], him THE ULTIMATE [W1ld Pr1z3], THE [Golden Bird] WITH [Heaven's symbol enscribed into its] ASS.

SPANNING A [Tall] AND MADE OF REAL [yellow-bellied] METAL, THIS IS A [Faithful], [Large-Scale Recreation] OF THE BEST THING I EVER FOUND IN THE [Trash]

I CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON SUCH A PRICELESS OBJECT OF SENTIMENTAL VALUE!!! THEREFORE, I WILL LET [You guys] DECIDE THE PRICE BY [spending as much money as possible].

THAT'S RIGHT, [L@@K!] IT'S AN [Online auction] BABY ! GET OUT YOUR CYBER [skin wallets] AND GIVE ME THE [digits on the back] RIGHT NOW!!!

I CAN SEE YOU HESITATING. MAKING A [Guilt]Y FACE. WELL DON'T WORRY, TURN THAT FROWN [360 degrees and walk] CLOSER !!!! CLOSER !!!!

ALL THE MONEY WILL GO TO THE [Little guys] LIKE ME!!! THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S [Charidy]!!! SO [Harlin Shake] YOUR WALLET AND [#SPAMTONCHALLENGE] FOR THE KIDS!!!!"

"THE [Ultimate Must Have Merchandise] FOR ANY SPAMTON [Lover's Pizza] IS HERE!!!

THIS IS [History's First Fully Authentic] PAINTING, CREATED WITHOUT USING [Digital Assistance], BUT BY ACTUALLY USING [Oil] ON [Canvas]!!

EACH DETAIL HAS BEEN LOVINGLY [Smothered In Crude Oil] BY THE [Classics You've Come To Expect] WHO ALSO CREATED THE [Golden Bird Heaven Statue]!!!

THIS PRICELESS [artizenel] WORK IS MORE THAN JUST WORTHY OF BEING IN A [Museum], IT'S ALSO WORTHY OF BEING [Sold Shamelessly To The Highest Bidder]!!

GET OUT THOSE [pocket]BOOKS NOW!!! AND I KNOW YOU HAVE [Spacious Pockets], SO YOU'D BETTER MAKE THOSE NUMBERS [Big]!!!!"

“Spamton…

Aren't you just sick of him?

Why does he get all the attention?

Why should he be so special?

He wasn't any better than any of us.

What do you think...?

Let's buy Spamton's silence, permanently.

Let's get him out of this place once and for all.

Don't you think it's about time someone else got the spotlight!?

Or... should he stay free?

Let him live his lucky life.

Encourage him... be happy for him.

After all, are we really any better...?

Hm.

Spamton's fate... is in our hands.”